The Poetry of Testing

by | Feb 24, 2020 | 2 comments

Marston Gregory honoring Richmond Shepard

Marston Gregory honoring Richmond Shepard , Albuquerque, 2019, image by Sulfiati Magnuson

A remarkable experience today (22-Feb-2020) in testing with two Subud Brothers after a local committee meeting. I wanted validation for the direction I am taking to treat my newly diagnosed prostate cancer and to test about the psychic aspects of that condition. I worked with Sebastian Tedrow and Marston Gregory.

My first question was about my direction and we all got very positive results.

My second question came out of Louise Hay’s “Heal Your Body” book which has been for me quite perceptive in identifying the mental causes for maladies that I’ve suffered over the years. For prostate cancer she says that “mental fears weaken the masculinity” among other things. Sebastian and I got interesting results testing “how do I experience the masculine” and “how would God have me experience the masculine. (Now like a rock. As God would have it, like a vessel of the divine.) Marston suggested we test how God would have us experience the human. I was cool with that, asked him to state the question and it was one of the most remarkable receivings I have ever had. Mine started slowly and evolved into waves of grace experienced as chills going along my spine. I felt like a witness to it, although the feeling was quite palpable. Then I started getting lines of poetry occur to me, those of Walt Whitman from stanza 24 of Song of Myself:

Through me the afflatus surging and surging, through me the current and index.
Walt did not go on in that moment for me, but these are the words in that poem which follow the line I received:
I speak the pass-word primeval, I give the sign of democracy,
By God! I will accept nothing which all cannot have their counterpart of on the same terms.
Sebastian Tedrow

Sebastian Tedrow

Tears filled my eyes, just to have the experience of being human and to have it be related to me by the Good Gray poet. Wow. Has art ever come to you in testing? Please send us your stories and keep me in your prayers if you would be so. kind. Thank you Brothers. Thank you Subud. Thank you Latihan. Thank you Almighty God.

Paul E Nelson by Philip Brautiigam

Paul E Nelson by Philip Brautiigam


  1. Thank you for Marston’s commentary!

  2. Dear Bro’
    We men die with prostate cancer, not from it.
    Had same since 2003 to date.
    Yes it’s a purging, a cleaning out, prior to embracing the after life. It is indeed a gift to be allowed to continue purification beyond three score and ten years.
    God be with us Bro’


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