The Boulder Massacre
By Roland Evans
Another slaughter of innocents—this time in a Boulder supermarket where we’ve shopped many times. During the following week, my clients express their confused disbelief veiling the anger and anguish beneath. We struggled with the questions: Why does this happen? How can we make sense of something so perverted?
Mass murders (under the euphemism ‘mass shootings’) are a normal, almost taken-for-granted part of contemporary American life. We grow numb in the face of so many atrocities, hopeless in the face of political inaction. Our awareness and compassion grows thin. We shed a tear, talk with friends, attend a vigil, donate a few dollars to the survivor’s fund and then it slips away.
But survivors, eyewitnesses and those with tender hearts do not forget. For every mass killing, thousands of lives are affected; many are devastated, warped and twisted. Children grieve their murdered parent all their lives. Some turn to violence or self-abuse to numb the pain. People who fled the slaughter do not feel safe in public. Victims of violence of every kind are distressed and disturbed. All have been deeply wounded and their healing is uncertain. Trauma breeds trauma.
Random murder is unnatural and meaningless; its shock waves spread through our inner being, rippling across the country and the world. We humans are woven together in a fabric of spiritual and emotional threads. Tug one thread and the whole cloth vibrates; tear a hole and the integrity is lost. Senseless killings rip through the cloth of our collective experience. Our confusion and pain at these murders is more than personal; we feel the tissue of our shared humanity being torn apart. Darkness wells up through the gaping hole, a shadow eager to darken the flickering light of consciousness and compassion.
We must hold to the light. A moral society is a frail bastion against the darker forces within every human being. We all have our bad days of agony, rage and destructive impulses. In moments of madness and torment we lash out and hurt those closest to us. Mostly we summon up a core of moral restraint and lean into our bonds of tenderness and care. Our dark impulses are curbed and we remember we are meant to love, not hate.
What if those inner restraints are weak or missing? What if fear, anger and despair overwhelm our connections and concern for each other? Then we are a danger to the human family. Society has to step in and contain our destructive urges. We do not put a knife in the hands of a raging toddler. We do not allow a drunk to drive. Why do we allow any human being to possess a machine of mass murder?
Humans are tool makers and tool users. Every tool and every machine is intended for a purpose. We buy a can-opener to open cans. We purchase a car to drive the roads. I can’t imagine owning a tool I would never use. Each of my tools fits my hand and asks to be used. Certain armaments are specifically designed to kill people; they invite killing.
We all want power and control; we all have fantasies of retaliation against those who hurt us. Light and shadow struggle in our souls. We are frail and flawed, angry and sad, loving and kind. Our laws have to reflect the reality of our human psyche—to strengthen what is good and restrain what is destructive.
Rationalizations about ‘gun rights’ or ‘people kill people, not guns’ defend shadowy and often unconscious drives. Do I really need an assault weapon to make me feel better? Don’t we agree that all human life is precious? Surely we are willing to give up a tiny crumb of choice and freedom to save innocent people from slaughter and suffering.
— Roland Evans is the Principal of Inner Life Therapy and Coaching
Well said, Roland. Far, far too many of these killings have indeed numbed us to the horrible reality.
The question we might reflect upon as parents, aunties and uncles of our precious children, is: What factors influence a strong inner locus of control vs the weak, disorganized one that contributes to lack of self-control, self-regulation and violence? Why do some individuals lack the ability to empathize with others with others? Those who are the most seriously mentally ill cannot empathize with themselves, thus cannot empathize with others. If when infants and young children they were objectified by their parents or those raising them, this happens. As those who have received Latihan, our contact with them can be life saving, life affirming, even if brief. We have all heard of the special teacher who reached a lost child. I propose we consider part of our mission in life to be available to connect to the young ones, to say you are unique, you are special. I see you. You are always seen by the Divine.
In Subud over the years, I have heard many people disparage psychiatry and psychology in lieu of depending on inner insights. But as you see from Roland’s kind words, there is a gift that can come through counseling, and treatment of mental illness, when needed. I encourage everyone to reach out when the need is there, especially in these tough times, especially if a child is not prospering, playing with happy abandon, eating well, and likes him or herself.
Thank you Roland for sharing. Beautifully said.
Hi Roland and others. In these traumatic situations, I ask myself: does my empathy extend to the shooter? What happened to him/her in childhood that contributed to this painful acting out of rage and anger? In Subud terminology, what is the nature of the person’s soul that can kill other human beings in a misguided attempt at relief from inner torture or an inability to empathize and feel what others feel. Perhaps, when collectively, our empathy, understanding and healing for the shooter as well as the shot, expands, these incidents will decrease.
Roland, Thank you for your thoughtful comments on the catastrophe in Boulder and Hamilton, Lucia, Myriam and Lucas, for contributing your insights. There are obvious correlations linking your comment, Lucia, and my piece on my family members who killed themselves:
“Those who are the most seriously mentally ill cannot empathize with themselves, thus cannot empathize with others.”
Two additional thoughts are coming up for me regarding the expression of non-empathy via violence toward self and others and Bapak’s guidance. I don’t have the advantage of being a trained therapist, a profession I hold in high esteem but these things are supported by my experience and receiving:
1. The material world is solid to our senses but is actually an energetic, dynamic, living dimension. It interacts with the higher energetic levels, vegetable, animal and human and can influence all of them, in fact contains them. When we humans inject our inherent human nature; creativity and love, into the products we create, those products have immense power to influence others. This is true, in my view, with art, weaponry and all kinds of technology. My neighbor is a ballistics engineer who has developed a high-powered sniper rifle whose only purpose is to kill humans at great distances. The only way he can find success and creative fulfillment is if this weapon, in the hands of a soldier, kills another human being. That is the reality of his creation.
2. Bapak suggested that we not open persons suffering from mental illness because we don’t yet have the capacity to deal with them in a way that will allow the latihan the time to heal them. Of course, I don’t know how many applicants have been turned away from the latihan due to testing about their mental health but maybe, considering the condition of the world, it is time to take another look at that. Are we missing an opportunity?
Thank you, Roland.
From a fellow therapist in CA.