Above: Underground Mouse, watercolor, by Roberta Hoffman

Notes From the Underground

Musings From the SICA-USA Board

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Like a Bridge Over Troubled Waters

By Alexandra Boyer, National Helper Liaison

Oh Lord, how should I be in this turbulent world? I’ve tested multiple times – sometimes by myself, sometimes locally or visiting other groups, sometimes in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep. I repeatedly receive this advice from my inner: don’t get wrapped up in it but pay attention and don’t run away from it. Deal with what is in front of you. Always, always order the nafsu in yourself, trust in God, stay peaceful and open.

Good advice, but sometimes very difficult to put into practice. It seems to help if I can sing. Somehow singing from a quiet place will come to me even if my emotions are all stirred up. Just feeling my breathing as I sing, and hearing my voice from that inner place, helps bring me to the peaceful, trusting state that I have received I should hold. Is this Subud culture? My voice will never sell tickets to the public, but perhaps true culture is not just for our Subud stars. Thank God for the latihan!

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And Now for Something Somewhat Different …

By Fayra Teeters, SICA-USA Chair

My personal approach to a turbulent world and troubled waters has generally been to lean towards Laughter. I founded my theatre, Masque Alfresco, based on the notion that if we as a community of troubled audience members can be brought to laughing at the source of our perceived troubles, then we’re definitely on the road to solving the problem. Laughter is the great bogey-man equalizer.

The world’s most memorable playwrights certainly rode the creative waves of that principle, often inserting outrageous humor into the most dire and tragic scenes: Shakespeare’s gravedigger’s scene near the end of Hamlet; Moliere’s scathingly funny diatribe against the arrogance and incompetence of doctors in Imaginary Invalid (he actually collapsed onstage at the end of the play and died shortly thereafter; there’s definitely a lesson in there!)

Years ago, in the 1980’s when I was juggling a career as a real estate agent together with running a theater in Seattle, I asked one evening during Latihan to be installed with a Flake Alarm – so that I could always be able to perceive when I was in the presence of someone who was not being entirely honest and who would just be wasting my time. And it worked like a charm! I didn’t always drop the dishonest client, but I was aware of their games, even if they themselves were not. The perception of someone who is running a game of manipulation in my direction – whether they are conscious of their game or not – actually became a source of outrageous humor for me, because it’s better to laugh in recognition of their modus operandi, than it is to become outraged.

I also repeat the following forgiveness “mantra” whenever my knee-jerk reaction wants to rush into becoming offended and angry: “I fully and freely forgive you; I release you and let you go to your good, quickly and in peace. All things are cleared up between us now and forever.”

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When Challenges Arise

By Roberta Hoffman, Secretary

When something unexpected happens—especially when it catches you off guard—it’s natural to feel overwhelmed. But even in that moment, you still have a choice: how you respond. That response can shape the outcome, not only for yourself but also for those around you. If you can, take a breath. Let the initial waves settle. Then begin to gather the facts, step by step. Clarity often follows calm.

Stillness and Listening

One thing that helps me stay centered is maintaining a regular practice of worship—through Latihan or prayer. Not only in hard times, but as a steady rhythm. When I take time to get quiet, I often start to sense what needs to be done—and how my attitude should be. Sometimes, the first step is simply adjusting my attitude and approach.

The Imagination and Fear

Our minds are powerful. In the face of something big or uncertain, imagination can turn fear into a swirling storm. The more we focus on what might go wrong, the more intense the storm can feel. It’s like whipping up a frothy frosting of fear—it can look dramatic, but it’s made mostly of air. Gently redirecting our focus can make a big difference.

Ruminating vs. Reflecting

There’s a big difference between thoughtfully exploring a problem and endlessly replaying it. Reflection can lead to solutions; rumination often just deepens the fog. If something’s weighing on you, try writing it down. Sometimes, simply getting it out of your head gives it space to breathe—and a solution might surface when you least expect it.

Shifting the Scene

When everything feels too much, sometimes the best thing we can do is step away—literally. I make it a habit to go on long walks, usually about an hour twice a day. Recently, I woke up with anxiety still lingering from the day before. But fifteen minutes into my walk, the sound of birds and gazing at the tall tree branches began to quiet my mind. Other times, a longer journey—a few hours in the car, for instance—helps reset my perspective.

Choose Kindness

Lastly, and maybe most importantly: be kind. Speak gently, especially when you don’t know what someone else might be carrying. A kind word or a simple act of care might be more meaningful than you realize. It’s a bit like watering a garden—you might not see the flowers bloom right away, but your kindness helps beauty grow.

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Bridge over Troubled Waters

By Jim O’Halloran, SICA Treasurer

The following are methods that help me get through the day. I’d be very happy if these are of some use to others.

Connections

Connections are not a personal strong suit, to be honest. But they are becoming more important. There are my human connections to my Subud brothers and sisters, my neighbors- frequently encountered on walks or at the community garden; relationships developed at the stores I frequent, my dear, amazing, talented friends in life and music, and those I meet in social activism. Happily, there is frequent intersection.

There are also the other connections, to the rain, the sun, lunar cycles, seasons, the trees in the neighborhood, the many faces of Mt Rainier, the clouds, the sky, and sunrises and sunsets. All are amazing events for which I am grateful every day.

Gratitude

For years it has been a personal practice to review the highlights of each day. In preparing for Ramadan this year, I reviewed Bapak’s comments on preparing to enjoy a meal. It seems like another entire set of connections.

The expression of gratitude now involves getting quiet and thanking the food for the sustenance it provides, including expressing gratitude to the journey that sustenance has taken to land in front of me – to the caretakers of the food along that journey as well as that which nurtured the food before it left its home. Sun, rain, mulch, worms, and the sea. This has inevitably led to an all-encompassing gratitude!

Action

Action based on my receiving, including concrete actions to address issues that are causing what appear as problems or opportunities, are a constant personal method to reduce damaging emotions and ideas.

Physical exercise

Another form of action. I always, always feel better after aerobic exercise or weight routines. This has been a habit carried on from my work as a cardiac RN and witnessing the regular and rigorous exercise habits of my peers-likely related to their determination to avoid becoming like their patients for as long as possible!

Daily practice

The latihan, of course, is a daily practice. Likewise playing, hearing (in the inner sense), and listening to music is another daily routine. All are key elements for my inner growth and outer calm and acceptance.

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My Extraordinary Good Luck.

By Lawrence Pevec, International Liaison

I keep hearing Charles Dicken’s opening line from Tale of Two Cities: “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times” as I contemplate the current ‘times’ and the ‘times’ I’ve lived in.

I am a Baby Boomer. I was born to working class parents who had pride in their work ethic, self-sufficiency, resourcefulness and their belief in the value of their Central European roots. Unfortunately, these folks also lived and worked with an enormous amount of fear. There are reasons for their conditioning in terror. It came from the same place as those other characteristics; from the Central European culture; especially the Roman Catholic Church and the authoritarian monarchies from which their ancestors immerged. As a third generation American, I have had some confidence that I can find ways to navigate life’s challenges and manage a fulfilling existence. I’ve also been blindsided by unexplainable, unmitigated fear of the future.

From time to time, especially after listening to the news or a political podcast, I begin feeling the hopelessness of the overall situation in the US. It is easy to become overwhelmed by the reporting on the economic, political and climatic condition of this country and the world. Then comes the inevitable question: how and why did we get here and why doesn’t anyone seem to know what to do about it? The current that flows through the twenty-first century has turned into white water.

I sometimes feel there is a fulfillment aspect to current events that may help understand and maybe navigate the torrent. From the time I read the three big post-war fiction novels; Animal Farm, Brave New World and 1984 as a teenager I have felt social democracy, hung by a fragile thread and it was only a matter of time before the thread snapped and the world became fractionalized into oppressive fascist states lorded over by competing Big Brother dictators. As it turns out, George Orwell and Aldous Huxley didn’t foresee how citizens might willingly choose their own oppression. Except for the illegal Viet Nam War, and the suppression of human rights of non-white minorities, the totalitarian government we feared wasn’t all that obvious in 1984 but it was clearly cooking on the back burner and is now being served up.

Whenever fear intrudes on my peace of mind, I realize how lucky I am that I can check in with my inner feeling for direction and solace. Although I can ask for answers, as in testing, help usually comes unexpectedly with no conscious knowledge of my need for anything. Bits of guidance range from the general to the specific. In broad terms, the rise of fear clearly comes from the material force; the material world. It is this energy that may control the weakened human soul by creating the illusion of lack or loss. The material force is relentless. Its original purpose, to provide for human needs and well-being, now manipulates humankind through fear. The lower forces haven’t changed, mankind has changed; has lost its way. Valuable, useful and specific guidance comes from beyond the material life force, unlike the material as it is intended for each individual situation and the fulfillment of purpose in this life. I’m able to receive and distinguish the quality of my receiving because I have been trained in the latihan to know the differences in the content and complexity of my own being. Although this is the thing I value most in these times, it is clear that I am not able to affectively share much of what I receive or influence anyone else’s process of fear management. I keep coming back to the same solution: stay close to the latihan.