Mary Kimsey Memorial Tribute Part II

By Lusijah Marx

Dedication

My sister Mary would remind me that life’s obstacles are not barriers to avoid, but rather the actual path, the blueprint for healing and spiritual growth.

When I first heard the news of Mary, Rowan, and Stella’s death, it was too much to take in, so sleepless at 4:30 in the morning, the same time Mary got up each day, I felt her tapping me on the shoulder. The knowing in me became clear that my task was to write down the lessons and invite others to do the same from our very special teacher, Mary.

Mary had a great sense of wit, humor and playfulness, along with the greatest capacity for unconditional love I have ever known.

Nina Ramirez Marx, age 8

I call Mary Grammy. Whenever Grammy Mary would babysit me and my sister Jemma, we would sew together and I would make a t-shirt or a stuffy. She sometimes let me help her in her garden. Once I saw a bee sitting on the flower right next to me. She taught me how to dig a hole then put the plant in the hole and cover the roots with dirt, then let the plant get sun and water – it was really fun!

Grammy taught me how to sew, plant, be kind, write, draw, how to have a tea party – and now I’m really good at drawing because of practice. I miss Grammy very much!

Jemma (L) and Nina (R) Ramirez Marx

Jemma Ramirez Marx, Age 10

Mary is my Grammy who took care of my sister Nina and I when our parents were working. Grammy would pretend to be the homeschool teacher and we were her students. Our schedule would have storytime and fieldtrips, where we’d go to Woodstock Park or to Grammy’s house which seemed like a museum. We’d make hummus, work on sewing projects and she’d teach us to climb the tree outside in her front yard. Grammy also taught be how to draw.

Grammy and I sewed may special projects, my favorite was my romper. Out of a big box of fabric, she asked me to pick out my favorite; I picked the gold one. Then everyday over the next weekends we’d work on this project until it was finished. I love and miss my Grammy!

Elisa Arden, Mary’s Neice

Trust your instincts; you have an inner knowing that is from God. Trust your gut: if you have a feeling about something, honor and follow that feeling.

The greatest thing you can give someone is your love, care, and time. Ameal made with love is better than a dinner out. A handmade gift is better than store-bought. Time spent together is more meaningful and impactful than material gifts. And when things are mode or cooked with love and intention, that energy is transferred to the recipient.

Life is short. Don’t worry about what others think. Don’t leave any goodness behind – always lick the bowl! When I was at Mary’s house, we’d look at each other with delight at the end of our meals as we gleefully liked our bowls to not leave one morsel behind; and because we both did it, neither of us was embarrassed!

Integrity is important. Be the person God intends you to be. Stand up for what’s right; do the right thing. Be kind, forgiving, loving, and true.

Never judge others. Everyone was deserving of Mary’s friendship and love. She never judged others on perceived faults, flaws, their history, or level of education. She saw the value in everyone and everything – except squirrels! I could share anything with Mary, no matter what, and feel safe knowing she would never judge me.

See your gifts: we all have talents, qualities and abilities that were given to us by God. It’s important to recognize and embrace these gifts and share them with others.

Treat others with respect, no matter who they are. Every secret was safe with Mary. She treated the earth with just as much respect. She recycled everything and left as small a footprint as possible. And she never left a negative residue.

Marius Harold

Mary was one of my greatest teachers. I was fortunate to witness her exceptional gift as a Special Education teacher when she invited me to visit her classroom, and when I helped her with the Special Olympics preparations. During those visits I saw her break down barriers with children who were considered unreachable, treating each child with deep and sincere love. I truly watched her perform miracles.

Over the last fifty-plus years she continued to teach me as we spent time together. The most amazing lesson she taught me was that I was loved – something I was never sure of before. This gift enabled me to believe that I could love. It let me follow my inner impulse to make connections and to see my brothers and sisters in my community as amazing gifts to be cherished and respected. Mary is a true miracle!

Mary Kimsey and Marius Harold

Molly Osborne

Mary taught me to be a healer, not by using words, but rather by living in kindness, love and patience. I was delighted when her work in psychology brought Mary to Portland decades ago. When we were out running near Reed College Mary always seemed to notice the sky, so I also began to look up. Mary always saw the sacredness of every living thing: trees, flowers, and especially the wisteria of Bishop’s Close.

When my daughter Cassandra was born Mary was there with her quiet skills, advocating for Cassandra when she needed it, especially through her public-school years, until she could attend college and live independently in NYC.

When we had an unexpected car accident, Mary was the one we called and she came immediately bringing her deep compassionate presence.

Mary taught me how to be a mother by her example of being lovingly attentive to her own grandchildren – not by setting strict rules and only intervening when guardrails were necessary.

Mary, Lusijah, Marius and I began walking daily in the Southeast Portland neighborhood about 15 years ago and we became friends sharing the joys and sadness that colored our lives. We walked during the Covid pandemic, bundled in love and safety. Mary was always waiting for me as I drove up, coming out of her house to sweep the endless leaves off her sidewalk, often aiming a walnut at one of the many squirrels that plagued her.

Elisa, Mary, Lusijah, Marius, Molly