It can be so easy for me to disappear into pain
I line up behind others when the trail gets steeper
and feel only my own misery
Sometimes when I do latihan
I don’t always trust that God is listening
Where are the map makers, my weary heart asks
Why are so many politicians wearing paper suits
Why does the world feel so broken
A hard rain pelted my car at the ferry today
I imagined God stomping above
With black boots on
Stormy thoughts tangled into one question:
How many words are there for pain?
Instead, a prayer came.
“God, please hold my hand.”
When the clouds moved on
And the rivulets of water flowed away,
A single drop of rain stayed back to visit.
I studied its rounded belly
Laying gently on my windshield
And thought of melting icebergs
And rising sea levels
And that I don’t have a dog anymore.
As the drop hung on
I asked it,
What is it like to have no words or song?
To have no future?
I could swear it smiled.
“I have sailed on many clouds
And lived in great sweeps of snow.
I’ve surfed on rising tides
And danced in the steam over Mark Twain’s teacup.
I’ve rested on grieving cheeks
And shimmered in a rainbow inside a waterfall.
I’ve been inside a floating bubble
And felt what it is to pop.”
It was my turn to smile.
Of all of your adventures, I asked it
What was your favorite?
It wriggled a little
Before it whispered, “Now.”
“Always now”
Then it brimmed itself up
And burst forth,
Shimmying down the pane like a passing thought
Into a different now
I let out my breath slowly.
I remembered Mary Oliver’s words,
“Love life
Hold it against your bones
as if your life depends on it
And when the time comes to let it go,
let it go”
Yes,
That.
As we gather this weekend,
Spirits from near and far
I pray that we find peace in our little moments.
That there will be lightness of being
In our latihan
And that we will find a way
To be fully here
in this now
A part, not apart.
Perhaps we can do a little shimmying too.
Thank you, Isabel, for sharing this exquisite poem, so very timely and touching this reader so deeply.
Really lovely conversation with a raindrop. Thank you Isabel.
Absolutely WONDERFUL, Isabel! Please keep sharing your inner eyesight.
Hello Isabel, Very refreshing and reassuring in these strange days of spiritual drought and famine. Thanks for sharing one of your moments and hoping we can all find similar blessings in your words. Best regards, Joseph
This poem remains wonderful.
I would like to read your novel.
Aweeee so genuine
Gentle and true
Are your words
I find comfort and commonality in them.
It’s here
It’s Now!
Thank you for sharing 💜
Thanks Isabel!
Your words have come at the
Right time for all of us, I’m sure.
Yesterday in Latihan I was reminded (for the nth time) that our faith in Almighty God is the answer to worries, doubts and all the rest. Please, God hold my hand too.
I enjoyed reading your poetry.
Beautiful poem, Isabel! Thank you!
This is absolutely lovely! I’ve read it several times, at different times. From one poet to another, thank you. It takes something to blend pain with beauty so well.