Passing the Torch: the Subud Legacy
Musings by Benedict Herrman, Alexandra Boyer, and Leana McClellan
One Perspective on the Future of Subud
There is concern amongst some of us about the future of our spiritual path, as many of us are graying and in our 70s, 80s, and even 90s, yet our numbers have not grown over the years as we had hoped. What will happen to Subud in the future, we wonder… will it survive? Will it change? How do we keep it the same? Should we? Why have more people not found this profound experience as we did long ago as young people seeking something that was real — a genuine encounter with the Divine that transcended the stale tedium of conventional religion with its endless rituals and ceremonies, paint-by-number sermons or overly intellectual discussions about the nature of God.
It helps to remember that Bapak himself had to let go of his expectations about Subud. He realized that Subud wasn’t yet ready to grow into what he had hoped, and that he had done his job — the future of Subud wasn’t up to him, it was up to God. He laid some blame on the helpers, and we have to own that — but, in truth, we weren’t ready, either, as we struggled with the various parts of ourselves that needed purification, atonement and correction through a combination of self-reflection and grace.
There are a couple of very simple tests I have found to be useful:
- What is my attitude towards the future (or growth) of Subud?
- How would God have my attitude be?
The purpose of doing these tests isn’t to absolve ourselves from responsibility regarding the future of Subud, but rather let us gain a different perspective on that responsibility. To worry about something is to let it control us so that we act out of fear instead of guidance. My hope is that these simple tests will create the feeling we need to have within us as we move forward into this world, and eventually, into the Light.
—Benedict Herrman
Access to the Grace of God will Never Go Away
During our last SICA Board meeting, I was asked if the subject of “passing the legacy” is too painful for me to write about. I responded that actually it’s not painful to me at all! I’ve tested about it, and I may be odd but my receiving is simply carefree, no worry.
The whole point of being in Subud is direct contact with the Grace of God right to one’s individual soul, and the Grace of God is never going to diminish or leave. It’s everywhere, it’s eternal and it’s always accessible.
So I’m just doing the best I can. I was raised atheist, which means that I had to learn to talk with my parents in a way that did not use religious language. May they be blessed in heaven! None of my children presently come to latihan. It would be wonderful if they did, but I’m not troubled by their lack of attendance because I know that they are in no way “outside the realm” of receiving God’s Grace.
The way to pass on the legacy is this: be alive and spread light in every way that we can. Fayra talked about doing just that with arts and culture – completely appropriate! There are all kinds of additional ways through which we can touch other people, make contact, spread life and light.
Of course, the challenge is to overcome all of those things that get in my way of really staying in touch with the light and the life that are inside me. I’m incredibly grateful for Subud, which is perfect for somebody like me. When I was young, I was looking for a way to express worship and to grow spiritually, and I was led to Subud. It is absolutely the way that is my path, I know that. But it’s not necessarily everyone’s path. It’s my path.
—Alexandra Boyer
Road to the Coast
The tree lined road to the coast
frames a late spring sky
jammed in the van
just the girls and me
a week's worth of vacation gear
Marisa lost in "A Tree grows In Brooklyn"
for the 9th time
Raina plugged into M.C. Hammer
reads "Calvin and Hobbes"
pets the sleeping dog
I drive by instinct
thoughts skitter through topics not memorable
background radio draws me in
I turn it louder
hum-sing Aretha's "Natural Woman"
Marisa lifts her head out of her book and joins me
Raina, half mocking, sing-songs along
We are singing together now
singing our hearts
I crank up the volume
we strain for the high notes
stumble over words
come back strong on the chorus
"You make me feel like a natural woman..."
I sing in and out of harmony with these two girls
future adult-friend daughters
who have lived my best and worst
mothers of my grandchildren
women who may someday decide my fate
—Leana McClellan
ABSOLUTELY wonderful, all 3. I was so touched by each and every one of them. Leana, the last line of your poem stunned me – I thought of the line in the new film about Bob Dylan, A Complete Unknown, I presume by Bob Dylan, himself – “It put me on the floor”.
Lovely, all three! Thank you!
Thank you, all three, for your thoughts and feelings. And thanks for the two test questions, Benedict, which I’ll try toute suite. With Aloha, Reynold Ruslan, Boulder, CO
I finished a poem this evening. It is coming soon.
Thanks for the torches.
It’s 2:38 here, 158 minuted into the 26th of Sitchen (January), if I’m not mistaken. Now 2:40 – the first Trivoga, Air-raid sirens, of the day, sound. Thank you.
I am content with Bapak’s explanations about the growth of Subud. Fortunately it’s out of my hands, in as much as I have any clue as to a plan of action that would stimulate growth. After all, it’s Grace that causes change, not my desires. It’s an interesting line between complacency, and recognizing one’s limitations.
I truly believe we are still children on this path. We simply aren’t equipped YET, to put Bapak’s suggestions into practice. I think I would love to have Subud be widespread. I imagine it would make this world a better place. At the same time, I have an inkling that my understanding of how this world “works”, much less the Cosmos, is infinitesimal, and that in fact, it’s in Good Hands. In other words, I Haven’t A Clue.
I trust in the sincerity of my brothers and sisters to act as best they can, guided by the latihan, to the extent of their abilities, to put what they can into practice.
We each receive guidance from The One, tailored to our individual selves. That’s a pretty radical point of view, and not so easy to handle, as we may once have thought.
What a Blessing.
Excellent articles and comments! Our minds want the latihan to spread to all mankind, but that will probably come when we Subud members and the world are ready. Our material selves always want to go faster than God! We are still learning patience and surrender! We are truly, truly blessed to receive the latihan in our present lifetime!
Absolutely 💯 percent BLESSED!
Thank you brother
We shall keep the Faith!
What a Blessing to have All of these amazing experiences with our brothers and sisters and of course being able to surrender to the Will of God!
In my Heart there will always be Subud!
I had the Grace to meet Leandro while in Puebla and share wonderful moments with him and his Grandmother 💜
I feel truly blessed and honored
To be part of the Subud community!
The architecture of it all is so amazing. 8 billion paths (and counting) that sometimes are shared and sometimes are solitary. That’s 8 thousand million souls. A cosmic clearing house of sorts. With atmospheres of storms and serenity. Blast furnaces and frozen waist lands. Through great periods of darkness with only a few stars showing from time to time. How are we to know or judge. The Great Life Force that oversees it all and at the same time offers scenery along the way that is viewed from ever changing angles. The scope is beyond any knowable capacity and yet we Receive. Each for themself according to our own capacity. With and without the burdens of our hearts and minds. The burdens of our ancestors, the expectations for our descendants, the burden to conform to the latest isms of the age, of what we think or feel might get us off of this circle and on to the next. Many of these things are not Subud. The circle spins to fast for us to judge what step to take. With Subud we stop. On a dime. To surrender and be humble and see the harmony in it. “I” having no choice but to accept (consent to receive).
So that’s kind of how it is put into words for me. But Bapak says it so much better in his talks. As he said God has given us all we need. Its up to us to put into practice. Over the years I always had great worries about that. How and what do I put into practice ? How would my life play out ? Wife, kids, job, responsibilities, talent, health, old age, death. How do I surrender all of that ? For me testing always came up short with a few simple exceptions and in the face of it all I never felt that I received all that well. But I did my best to be diligent and honest with myself. Then one day in Latihan (maybe 20 years) it hit me. I do receive ! I am guided ! Finally my inner feeling. Just like that. I received what was my original opening. I never new what was my receiving at the time of my opening. So now I test from time to time, “where is my inner feeling and what is my inner feeling” and “what was my opening”. Just that. Very centering. It brings me peace and answers a lot of questions about the “vibration” and guidance that we all seem to expect and demand.
If I had to do it all over again I think I would have been miles ahead and I would ask helpers to offer to new members from time to time to test the two inner feeling questions. Keep it simple. Many times new members don’t have a clue where or what their inner feeling is, let alone “how should it be”, that’s just speculation for may of them. So they wind up leaving because of it. And to remind older members they can receive what their opening was. Its a real kick in the ass. Also for new members the need to explain the word “vibration”. We can comprehend the word “feeling”. But “vibration”, creates an expectation of something beyond. Oh boy I’m going to feel like a tuning fork. I don’t think it would hurt to say “vibration or feeling”. Some may experience a vibration, I had a feeling when I was opened that I ignored for years because it didn’t feel like the word “vibration” that everyone used and made you feel like you HAD to experience. But its been the inner feeling that has provided the guidance in my life. Not a “vibration”. Semantics ?
So maybe I’m just a spiritual dumb ass and the 2 words vibration and feeling have always been one and the same for members. My hunch is if we want to help, as well as keep, new members thus increase our numbers it might help to be more normal and down to earth. “Feeling” is something we can all have. “Vibration” is like the 60’s (which I completely loved) and up in the clouds. Might be interesting to see how the Indonesian words for feeling and vibration translate and it what context. Sorry to be so long winded and obtuse. Besides Leonore and I have been isolated members for most of our Subud life so maybe this is all stuff that is old hat.
Hoping our feelings are always surrendered and in harmony and our vibrations are like the 60’s. Best regards.